One important thing to remember is that desire is what draws us together. Desire for world peace, desire for love, desire for pizza, desire for new shoes. No matter how profound or trivial, human desires are our common link. And everyone desires happiness. Yet we often mistake someone else’s search for happiness as being “anti-me.”
How often, for example, have you thought a friend, a teacher, or a relative was mad at you because they’d been giving you less attention than usual, only to discover they’d had a personal tragedy in their lives - perhaps a death, an illness, or a family quarrel - that was simply making them withdraw for a bit? Not just from you, but from everyone, until they felt settled again.
I once knew a young woman called Anna [not her real name] who ran into the sister of her first great love, Matt [not his real name.] The two women chatted for a while, and then Anna gave her number to Matt’s sister, who said she would happily pass it along. Anna was incredibly excited at the prospect of hearing from Matt. He had meant a lot to her both during their relationship and over a number of years, but they had lost touch.
Weeks passed, and then several months. No call. Anna took it personally. “I must not have mattered as much to him as he did to me,” she thought. “If he truly had feelings for me, then he would have called me by now.” Anna’s thoughts became worse and worse until finally she became quite bummed out about the whole thing.
Several months after that, Matt called. He and Anna had a great talk, at the end of which he apologized for not having called her sooner. “I’ve had a horrible skin disease,” he confided in her. “And I wanted it to clear up before seeing you.”
When we take the actions of other people personally, this is our ego speaking, telling us that we are the center of the universe - that everything that happens in our lives revolves around us. Our ego is the curtain separating us from other people’s true feelings and thoughts.
Our struggle is to not take everything personally. And to give with our whole heart, even if our judgment is we are not getting enough in return. When we do our part, the energy comes back to us - always. If not from the receiver, than from someone else. Positive seeds produce positive fruits. This is an immutable law.
And remember, sharing is not only a physical thing. Making room in your heart for others and acknowledging that you are not the only person in the world who wants to be fulfilled, can be the best gift to give to your loved ones - and to yourself.
All the best,
Yehuda
