Dark Roots
Let’s face it, we’ve all hurt people in ways in which we’d hate to admit. And those of us who are aware of the universal law of cause and effect are concerned about the spiritual damage we have done. I wrote about this a few weeks ago and the response was overwhelming. Many of you really took the message to heart and began owning up to some behaviors you’ve been hiding from.
I bring this topic up again because I cannot stress enough how important it is to hold ourselves accountable to our deeds. Because if we don’t, the universe will.
King David wrote, “I always hold my sins before me.” All too often we remember the good things we’ve done and forget the bad. The Light, however, works in the opposite manner, remembering what is forgotten and forgetting what is remembered.
When we draw attention to our positive actions by sitting back and thinking, “Wow, look at me, look at what I did, aren’t I amazing, where is my reward for this,” we suck the Light out of our actions of sharing, and reduce the amount of Light our sharing can reveal in our lives — and in the lives of others.
But if we proactively call up those dark moments from our past, and think, “Wow, that was pretty messed up, I can’t believe I did that, I wonder what pain I must have caused that person,” we bring blessings to and remove the stinger from our negative actions.
King David remembered and held his sins before him so that the Light wouldn’t have to.
Now, don’t worry, you can unpack your bags because we are not going on a guilt trip. But we are going to call up the courage to stare our negativity in the face this week. And if you are someone who suffers from guilt (I’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t) then I will tell you that this process will release you from the terrible burden of guilt.
As we teach in the Best Kept Secret lectures, our new introductory seminars for prospective students, we are created by a benevolent Creator who wants us to be happy. The only reason we go through painful moments is so that we can learn something and correct some aspect of our soul, a process many of you know as tikun [correction of the soul.]
This week, as you remember those not-so-pretty things you did, I recommend confessing to a friend or teacher. Having another person in front of you will force you to pull something out for examination. And when you do find something worth looking at, in addition to talking about what you did, and feeling the pain of the other person (as much as you can allow yourself to empathize with what they might have been feeling,) ask yourself — “What’s the bigger picture? Why did I do this particular thing, or string of things? What is it that my soul needs to learn?”
A quick example, one of my students recently did this exercise and she recalled a time in high school when she wrecked her car after a night of drinking and drugging. She was passed out when the firemen arrived so they never did a breathalyzer. Except for a broken collar bone, she got away scot-free. Her confession was that she lied and never told anyone she was wasted. Her question to herself was, “Why did I lie?” The conclusion she came to was she didn’t want to take responsibility. And I can tell you, that one realization had a positive ripple effect on her whole life, helping to remove blockages from her relationships and her career that had been lodged in place for years.
If you are out there causing negativity and hiding from it, then you can rest assured that at the root is one of your major tikun issues. This week, shine the light of truth on yourself and expose those dark roots.
All the best,
Yehuda
